Arguing and not winning
I have a confession. I have never won an argument with a child. In fact, I have never won an argument with a teenager. Heck, I’m not sure I have ever won an argument with anyone. Maybe you have had better results, but I am sorely lacking in the victory department of arguments
Now, in order to come out on top of the argument I have ended with a louder, more shrill voice and said something eloquent like, “Because I said so!” Or, “if you don’t do exactly what I say when I say it, I will throw you out the window!” Like I said, I never win.
No one likes hearing that they are wrong or dumb or uniformed: teenagers especially. One of my least favorite things to hear when I was a teenager was that I would understand things better when I got older. Now that I am older I have found it to be true, but I didn’t like it back then, at all.
“So Dave,” you may ask, “what does this have to do with anything?” Plenty, believe me. When we are having a conversation with people that don’t hold the same views as we do, what do we end up doing? Often, we point out their ignorance or tell them that they are wrong to believe what they believe. We treat non-Christians as if they are dopes. We get into silly power struggles with folks and end up yelling at each other and name calling. Maybe you don’t, but I know I have. It is ridiculous.
When it comes to evangelism, I am not convinced that logical arguments and brilliant rhetoric is as effective as we would hope. For example, if you are a Republican, has a logical attack on your political beliefs caused you to become a Democrat? Probably not. You have listened to the arguments, rolled your eyes, and thought someone was a bit naive in their thinking. The same is true regarding evangelism.
Try telling a Buddhist that they are wicked, evil, and wrong-headed in their beliefs. I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure they are not going to fall at your feet and beg you to lead them in the sinner’s prayer. There must be a better way to share Jesus Christ with those who don’t about him.
My answer is love. Not just loving the lovable, but loving the unlovable, too. It is an unconditional love. It is a love that requires no minimum standard of behavior to receive. It is a love that has nothing to do with sexual preference, style of clothing, number of tattoos, gender identification, religious affiliation, or anything. It is unconditional. We are to love people because they bear the image and likeness of God. We are to love people because Jesus loved people and was willing to die for them. We are to love people because it is the one thing we can do that requires nothing we don’t have the capacity to do.
We have the keys to unflappable peace, irrepressible joy, unlimited forgiveness and we make people act like circus animals doing tricks for a treat. We tell them we love them, but condemn them to hell if they decline the offer of eternal life. In short, our love is horribly conditional.
What would happen if people knew we truly loved them and not just to get them into our multi-level marketing business? What would happen if people knew that we loved them regardless of their baggage and their failings? What would happen? God is love, shouldn’t that be our identifier, too?
Like I said, I have never won an argument with a kid, but there are other ways to make a point. Instead of getting into an argument with people, how about trying to love them? God is love. Wouldn’t it be great if people that truly believed we believed our faith because we are so loving to both the loveable and unlovable? Arguing is easy, love is not. However, it is oh so worth it. I promise.