The pain of love and why it is worth it.
Love is not for sissies. I was sitting with my uncle in his den. His wife of 65 years had just died. He was, and is, in a lot of emotional pain. A darkness has fallen in his world that seems to defy any glimmer of light. Love is not for sissies, because when you lose it, it hurts – a lot. It takes courage to love.
Because the pain of losing love is so great, we may be tempted to protect ourselves from it. While life without love may be free of pain, it is also a life free from living. Life without love is cold and gray. A life that risks nothing ultimately gains nothing. It is not really life. It is some cold facsimile of life. It is no more than a statute or portrait of something real.
Maybe that is what evangelism is so cold and static these days. If I were to love my enemies, to wish the best for them and pray that they find peace and happiness in their lives, I risk so much pain when they choose another path. Caring about someone’s life that does not care about his or her own life is frustrating. It opens us to so many disappointments. It can crush our emotions.
It is gut wrenching to care about someone’s eternal soul. Caring, loving, healing and helping people all take their toll in our lives because we risk rejection. To see someone throw their life away on drugs, alcohol or cheap sex is horrifying. Moreover, when we try to help, we risk people questioning our motives. We risk pain while trying to ease someone else’s pain. Love is not for sissies.
When Jesus said that he had come to give us an abundant life, we need to understand all that entails. An abundant life involves just as much pain as it does pleasure. It involves as much losing as gaining. It involves sorrow as much as joy. An abundant life may seem to require a lot, but it offers so much in the living.
When love prevails…there is no greater joy, no greater satisfaction. We experience a joy that overshadows the deepest sorrow. It brings a peace when all we knew was chaos. When love prevails, we have strength to face another day. We know that the mountain can move and love can succeed. The benefits of a prevailing love far outweigh the losses. Love is not for sissies.
Jesus risked everything for us. He risked rejection for the hope of a real relationship with us. His love for us cost him everything. He mourned for Jerusalem’s rejection. He was devastated when many of his disciples left him. He even wondered if his small band would leave him like everyone else. Christ’s love for us caused him much pain and sorrow.
When Jesus rose from the grave, we saw true love prevail. We saw the end of death and the beginning of real life. We can finally understand that while we will have trouble in this world, Jesus has overcome the world. We finally understand that while love risks great disappointment and pain, it promises great joy and pleasure.
Thankfully, Jesus was not a sissy.
Dave